The last week or so has been pretty stressful. I’m juggling two different businesses – a very new social media/digital strategy agency and a holistic wellness practice – as well as the usual demands of motherhood and household concerns. I embarked on entrepeneurship in August, after being laid off from my corporate job of 13 years. I was able to sock some cash away so that I wasn’t starting as a business owner from zero. However, it’s taking longer than my impatient self realized to get the ball rolling on these businesses and the cash is quickly dwindling. There’s a great potential opportunity I hope will unfold soon, but meanwhile, the waiting is tough.
I’ve been a knot of tension for days now. I don’t know that I fully realized it until I went to yoga class this morning. I made a last-minute decision to go to class, forcing myself to get out of my head and into something more productive, so I slipped into a class a couple of minutes late. When I sat down, our teacher (my friend Tra, who was my first yoga instructor at the studio) asked us to set our intention for the class. As she guided, “You may want to consider releasing…” I said to myself simultaneously, “Release all fear and worry.”
It became my mantra for the entire class, as I worked with the breath to release the tension and tightness that had settled into seemingly every part of my body. Some days, I really do feel like the personification of “tightly wound”! As I stretched and breathed into my hips, legs and back, I kept repeating, “release all fear and worry.” I know that’s where most of those nutty, unproductive thoughts end up expressing themselves one way or another.
I don’t know that I left class with a clear direction on what to do, but I did feel lighter. I chose a tough path by deciding not to immerse myself back into the corporate management track. Building businesses takes time, courage and dedication, and being me, I decided to embark upon two at once (three, if you count my other website, Danatopia!) That decision was partly out of necessity, because as much as I love my Reiki/coaching practice, it doesn’t bring enough in consistently for us to make ends meet. So now I do it out of devotion to the practice and my desire to help others live a healthier, more connected life. I’ve been enjoying the social media work too, because I need to keep my left brain occupied and I love creating connections between people and within communities.
The hard part is avoiding being my own worst enemy by being afraid of failure and worrying that my plans won’t come together as hoped. I know full well that I have to let go at some point and allow things to unfold as they are meant to. That doesn’t mean I don’t work hard or take responsibility for my decisions and actions. It means that there’s an energy to everything and we have to allow that energy to build momentum so that we can flow with it, not against it. Fear and worrying create a cross-current that keeps us from even seeing that there’s a wave we can catch. This is my lesson for today. Tomorrow, I will remind myself of it again. And again.
(Photo credit: Perfecto Insecto on Flickr)