Personal Development / Spirituality

21 Day Practice: Day 2 – Return of the light


sunshineThe sun is out! It feels absolutely amazing to see light and blue sky again! Hello Sol Invictus!

I must admit that after I sent my daughter off to school, I went back to bed. I used to resist sleep (my mental refrain used to be, “Only wimps go to sleep when they’re tired!”) but now if I have the time and need, I slip back into delicious slumber. Between the sunshine and a little extra snoozing, my mood is considerably brighter.

I then spent most of the afternoon nursing a headache. I rarely get headaches, and this one was making me feel a bit queasy. Thankfully there was some quiet time this afternoon for me to indulge in some Reiki self-treatment. I really appreciate those rare moments of peacefulness during the week when I can get them.

The grumpy monkey seems to have retreated back to its hidey-hole for the time being. Less self-recriminating mental chatter, and even though the headache has been a distraction, it occurred to me that maybe it’s part of a larger emotional detox. The more I express care toward myself, the more I can release this old mental clutter.

I’m consciously working on letting go of long-held anger, some connected with physical trauma and some from unhealthy relationships I once felt powerless to leave or change. These experiences taught me a lot but, much like the boxes in my basement that I’m now sorting through and minimizing, the old feelings are not serving me and are taking up too much emotional space.

The healing process is like slowly peeling back layers of an onion. Each peeling layer exposes a raw, tender surface resistant to cleaving, accompanied by the sting of tears.

It feels good.

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One thought on “21 Day Practice: Day 2 – Return of the light

  1. “These experiences taught me a lot but, much like the boxes in my basement that I’m now sorting through and minimizing, the old feelings are not serving me and are taking up too much emotional space.”

    As I was told this weekend in the Soulful Purpose workshop with Christian de la Huerta- “Enough, baby, enough. You’re done with that. You’re done with this ‘I am not strong enough, I am not wanted, I dont know” You do know, you are strong, you *are* wanted. So stop it.”

    And he is right…I am done. Ive had enough…of playing small, of not feeing good enough, of feeling shame…which at its core is shame for being alive at all.

    Was thinking today about the part of me that yearns to fly and be all I can be…the part that gets so frustrated when all this emotional baggage Im carrying around weighs me down and holds me to the ground. I wondered if it was ever possible to not have any baggage at all…to either completely shed it, or to not have ever picked it up at all. Imagine what a human could do if they were completely free of “stuff”.

    But I wonder if we would be who we are without having gone through all the stuff, and all the shedding of that stuff.

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