Even while limiting contact, I searched in vain for ways to “fix” things. I eventually realized that this relationship couldn’t be fixed. Sacrificing my well-being for the sake of other people was damaging and unfair. I had to let it go.
Letting go doesn’t have to mean turning away, at least not in the spiritual sense. In the physical sense of my daily life and the emotional pain I’ve experienced, yes. But I am not turning away in that love can still be offered for the healing it provides to me and my loved one.
I stumbled upon a very helpful practice that has helped me a lot during this grieving process. I don’t remember where I found it, but the gist of it is simple. Think of the person while holding space for them in your heart and say, “I bless you. I release you.” Then, turn the attention to yourself and say, “I bless me. I release me.”
After doing this the first time, I experienced a very profound emotional shift. Relief, mixed with sadness and gratitude. I am glad to have found a way (along with prayer, and the Buddhist lovingkindness meditation, which I also like) to offer healing love to my loved one and myself from a safe place, while intentionally disengaging from the negative energy we’ve shared over the years. When tough emotions surface, I now silently spend a few moments reciting these phrases.
Soon after beginning this practice, I found myself adding, “I forgive you. I forgive me.”
We live in a spiritually and energetically interconnected relationship with others. Away from conflict – from conditioned behaviors, needs and ego – it becomes easier to drop the story line and see my loved one as someone who loves, struggles and suffers just as I do.
From this space, I can offer blessings for healing and well-being. I can offer energetic release from pain without trying to fix anything. I can offer forgiveness to bring peace to our wounded hearts.
I accept that this is what I can do, and it is enough.